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...behind in London, that is.
Sienna Miller has been entertaining her fella Balthazar Getty in London this week - she took him to the Groucho Club, dontcha know - but all good things must come to an end, sadly. So here he was arriving at Heathrow airport yesterday, Louis Vuitton bag in hand and dandy scarf around his neck. How terribly metrosexual.
Balthazar did look ever so slightly tired and jaded, however. I wonder why? Surely he's not fed up with all the media attention and slurs?!
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Well, why not, eh? Everyone else is.
Yes, Sienna Miller - normally a fashion-leader as opposed to a fashion-follower - has embraced the new trend for boy jeans (as seen so far on Katie Holmes, Jennifer Aniston and even Paris Hilton). Here she was in London on Friday, sporting her tortoiseshell-framed sunglasses, leather sandals, a plain white T-shirt - and a pair of painter's trousers. Sorry: baggy jeans.
She looks great, but if there's one thing this picture proves, it's that baggy jeans really are most flattering on the truly slim. Well, them, and anyone that does DIY.
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And when I say 'affair' I mean, of course, 'matter'. Not, you know...
Ahem.
Anyway: here was Sienna Miller in London yesterday. Yes, she's back from holiday - and looking completely un-slut-like, walking her dog Porgy (or is it Bess?) in a droopy beige jumper and black skinny jeans. Sienna, that is. Not Porgy.
Ah, it's like she's never been away...
But back to that defence thing. "The biggest misconception of me in the press is that I'm a slut. Apparently I've slept with half of Hollywood," Sienna tells S magazine (presumably S for slut). "You say, 'Hi, nice to meet you': the next day in the papers you're pregnant with his child."
Blimey. Well here she is with Porgy. Does that mean she's pregnant with his puppies?
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'Part one' being those pictures with Balthazar Getty in Italy, of course.
Sienna Miller is on holiday again, folks. Only this time, she's with her girlfriends.
Here she was relaxing on a small yacht - well, with so much hunger in the world, it's just so wrong to have a large yacht, don't you think? - off the coast of Ibiza last week.
As you can see, she was sporting a bandeau bikini which had an orange top and black bottoms, and which she accessorised with a glass of rosé wine and a cigarette. See? You can take the girl out of Britain...
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Not that those are her parents in this photograph, you understand. They're actually Hollywood producer Jerry Bruckheimer and his wife.
But shortly before this picture was taken in Malibu on Saturday, Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty had been to meet... Sienna's mum, Jo.
"Jo and Sienna's dad Ed had a few concerns as any parents would. But Sienna convinced Jo she is happy," a friend tells the Daily Mirror. "When Sienna flew out to Malibu to be with Balt while he was filming Brothers and Sisters, she suggested they all meet up. Sienna knew they would get on really well. Balt is a lovely guy."
So there you go. Now, how long before they start wearing matching outfits? No, wait - she's wearing a grey top, he's got grey hair. So it's happening already, right?
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Sienna Miller, Balthazar Getty: here's a bed. Perhaps you'd like to make it, and then lie in it?
Yes, the pressure of being Hollywood's most-watched couple - and that's saying something - as well as possibly it's most-hated couple is starting to get to Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty.
For here was Sienna yesterday, looking very lovely in her shirt dress, and filling her car up with petrol - as you do, when you live in LA* - but about to become very upset as a videographer asked her about her relationship with married Mr Getty. As you do, when you're a videographer living in LA.
On the same day, meanwhile, Balthazar was giving a photographer a piece of his mind as he was snapped getting out of his car.
Can we all just leave them alone now, please? I mean, apart from anything else: it just isn't that interesting any more. Is it?
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*Actually, strictly speaking, in LA you fill it up with gas, not petrol.
Sienna Miller - looking, it has to be said, adorable in a Breton top and white shorts - was snapped grabbing coffee (and the New York Times) in Malibu yesterday. And on the very same day, she was also snapped having lunch with... well, here's a clue. His name rhymes with 'Malthazar Betty'.
Yup, Sienna and Brothers And Sisters actor Balthazar Getty are still very much an item, it seems - being spotted committing multiple PDAs at a Greek restaurant while they had lunch with director Jerry Bruckheimer and his wife at the weekend. They were even photographed very clearly holding hands as they left. Yes, they were that brazen. Imagine!
"Sienna is being portrayed as a femme fatale and fears for her career because Hollywood hates a home wrecker," a source told yesterday's News of the World. "She hopes Balthazar can get Rosetta to put out a statement saying their marriage was already over."
Because, well, the world really needs to hear that statement, doesn't it?
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It appears that stories of the demise of Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller have been greatly exaggerated.
Because seemingly from new reports - and pictures - the pair went on a clothes shopping spree in Malibu together this week. Sienna was apparently wearing a strapless sundress, while Balthazar was sporting khakis and a slightly tatty grey V-neck T-shirt. No wonder they were out buying new togs!
Meanwhile, Sienna's friends have defended her actions, saying that Balthazar "was already separated from his wife" and had been "sleeping on friends' couches for six months" when they met.
"Sienna and he are in love. They're living together in Los Angeles. Everyone knows about her and accepts her," the pal tells the New York Post. "It's just annoying that all this misinformation is out there... But Balthazar should have announced his separation a lot earlier than he did."
Well, I'm not getting involved. Oh whoops, I just have...
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Yes, forget what you've read or seen about Rhys Ifans hanging out in Ibiza with Sienna Miller lookalikes - from the looks of things yesterday, his relationship with Kimberly Stewart is still going strong.
Well, I say 'relationship'... but Rhys and Kimberly's 'relationship' seems to mainly consist of going to hotels together.
And here they were doing just that yesterday - looking perfectly matching in their jeans and black tops, but for some reason also terribly shy.
What on earth are they embarrassed about? Beats me!
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Now, I realise that you're going to have to take my word for it that that is, indeed, Kimberly Stewart out with Rhys Ifans last night - arriving at her house, no less - but trust me, it is.
But then, you could probably tell that from her cropped hairdo, long legs and red-soled Christian Louboutins, couldn't you?
Rhys and Kimberly were out together on Monday night, too - so does this mean that they're a real item, as opposed to any sort of revenge fling (in his case, directed at Sienna Miller; in her case, directed at Jude Law)? And do we care? Nope, thought not.
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