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'Part one' being those pictures with Balthazar Getty in Italy, of course.
Sienna Miller is on holiday again, folks. Only this time, she's with her girlfriends.
Here she was relaxing on a small yacht - well, with so much hunger in the world, it's just so wrong to have a large yacht, don't you think? - off the coast of Ibiza last week.
As you can see, she was sporting a bandeau bikini which had an orange top and black bottoms, and which she accessorised with a glass of rosé wine and a cigarette. See? You can take the girl out of Britain...
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Not that those are her parents in this photograph, you understand. They're actually Hollywood producer Jerry Bruckheimer and his wife.
But shortly before this picture was taken in Malibu on Saturday, Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty had been to meet... Sienna's mum, Jo.
"Jo and Sienna's dad Ed had a few concerns as any parents would. But Sienna convinced Jo she is happy," a friend tells the Daily Mirror. "When Sienna flew out to Malibu to be with Balt while he was filming Brothers and Sisters, she suggested they all meet up. Sienna knew they would get on really well. Balt is a lovely guy."
So there you go. Now, how long before they start wearing matching outfits? No, wait - she's wearing a grey top, he's got grey hair. So it's happening already, right?
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Sienna Miller, Balthazar Getty: here's a bed. Perhaps you'd like to make it, and then lie in it?
Yes, the pressure of being Hollywood's most-watched couple - and that's saying something - as well as possibly it's most-hated couple is starting to get to Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty.
For here was Sienna yesterday, looking very lovely in her shirt dress, and filling her car up with petrol - as you do, when you live in LA* - but about to become very upset as a videographer asked her about her relationship with married Mr Getty. As you do, when you're a videographer living in LA.
On the same day, meanwhile, Balthazar was giving a photographer a piece of his mind as he was snapped getting out of his car.
Can we all just leave them alone now, please? I mean, apart from anything else: it just isn't that interesting any more. Is it?
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*Actually, strictly speaking, in LA you fill it up with gas, not petrol.
Sienna Miller - looking, it has to be said, adorable in a Breton top and white shorts - was snapped grabbing coffee (and the New York Times) in Malibu yesterday. And on the very same day, she was also snapped having lunch with... well, here's a clue. His name rhymes with 'Malthazar Betty'.
Yup, Sienna and Brothers And Sisters actor Balthazar Getty are still very much an item, it seems - being spotted committing multiple PDAs at a Greek restaurant while they had lunch with director Jerry Bruckheimer and his wife at the weekend. They were even photographed very clearly holding hands as they left. Yes, they were that brazen. Imagine!
"Sienna is being portrayed as a femme fatale and fears for her career because Hollywood hates a home wrecker," a source told yesterday's News of the World. "She hopes Balthazar can get Rosetta to put out a statement saying their marriage was already over."
Because, well, the world really needs to hear that statement, doesn't it?
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It appears that stories of the demise of Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller have been greatly exaggerated.
Because seemingly from new reports - and pictures - the pair went on a clothes shopping spree in Malibu together this week. Sienna was apparently wearing a strapless sundress, while Balthazar was sporting khakis and a slightly tatty grey V-neck T-shirt. No wonder they were out buying new togs!
Meanwhile, Sienna's friends have defended her actions, saying that Balthazar "was already separated from his wife" and had been "sleeping on friends' couches for six months" when they met.
"Sienna and he are in love. They're living together in Los Angeles. Everyone knows about her and accepts her," the pal tells the New York Post. "It's just annoying that all this misinformation is out there... But Balthazar should have announced his separation a lot earlier than he did."
Well, I'm not getting involved. Oh whoops, I just have...
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Yes, forget what you've read or seen about Rhys Ifans hanging out in Ibiza with Sienna Miller lookalikes - from the looks of things yesterday, his relationship with Kimberly Stewart is still going strong.
Well, I say 'relationship'... but Rhys and Kimberly's 'relationship' seems to mainly consist of going to hotels together.
And here they were doing just that yesterday - looking perfectly matching in their jeans and black tops, but for some reason also terribly shy.
What on earth are they embarrassed about? Beats me!
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Now, I realise that you're going to have to take my word for it that that is, indeed, Kimberly Stewart out with Rhys Ifans last night - arriving at her house, no less - but trust me, it is.
But then, you could probably tell that from her cropped hairdo, long legs and red-soled Christian Louboutins, couldn't you?
Rhys and Kimberly were out together on Monday night, too - so does this mean that they're a real item, as opposed to any sort of revenge fling (in his case, directed at Sienna Miller; in her case, directed at Jude Law)? And do we care? Nope, thought not.
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Now, the short answer to that question is: in New York. At her dad's.
The long answer is: nowhere to be seen. And that there are rumours that Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over. Supposing that they were 'under' each other in the first place, of course.
Here was Balthazar arriving at Los Angeles airport yesterday - looking rather dapper in his cardi and jeans, and about as delighted to see the paparazzi as Johnny Depp was in Nice.
He's just been on holiday in Italy - you may have seen his holiday snaps, in fact - he's just split up with his wife, and depending on which report you believe, Sienna Miller wants to marry him, or has just broken up with him.
According to a source speaking to the News Of The World, "Sienna is crazy about Balthazar. She knew that she would get absolutely hammered by everyone when their affair came out... Now that it's all out in the open, she's keen to settle down. She's really hoping he will divorce quickly and marry her."
But according toTMZ.com, Balthazar has realised that his relationship with Sienna is over - and has been begging his wife to take him back. "Balthazar has resorted to e-groveling with his e-stranged wife, Rosetta," says the site. "He has been sending her e-mails in the last week saying 'I love you'".
Blimey. The plot, as they say, thickens.
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Sorry: flies to LA.
After being back in London for about, ooh, 20 minutes, Sienna Miller - currently the title-holder of The Most Unpopular Woman In Showbiz - has jetted out to Los Angeles. Here she was arriving at Heathrow, looking cute as always in her her jeans, suede boots and striped shirt. Although not that many people would probably describe Sienna Miller as 'cute' right now.
And if you thought that list of people was limited to Balthazar Getty's wife, Rhys Ifans and Rhys Ifans' friends right now, you'd be wrong. Because apparently Sienna's ex and Edge Of Love co-star Matthew Rhys - who introduced Sienna to Balthazar, his co-star on Brothers And Sisters - isn't too pleased with his pals right now, either.
"Matthew feels betrayed by both Sienna and Balthazar,' a source tells The Sun. "It's an edgy situation on [the] set [of Brothers And Sisters]. Matt has been consoled by other starts including Sally Field, who's been like a rock."
Eek. Sure you want to be heading out there, Sienna?
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Now, I'm no Miss Marple: but could those two events possibly be related?
Sienna Miller is back in London - and here she was yesterday, in her grey T-shirt, silver gladiator sandals and skinny jeans, clearly trying to avoid the glare of the paparazzi cameras. Slightly unsuccessfully, of course... because she's Sienna Miller.
And those of you who follow such things will know that Sienna is back in London after a holiday in Italy - during which she was photographed being, erm, very 'cosy' with Brothers And Sisters star Balthazar Getty.
The same Balthazar Getty who's just announced that he and his wife Rosetta are separating. (As opposed to the Balthazar Getty who... erm... well, surely there is no other Balthazar Getty?).
"The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved," Mr G said in a statement yesterday. "In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further."
The plot thickens. As Miss Marple might say.
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