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Katie Price has been sharing her beauty tips with the Daily Mail and as we guessed, it's not your average soap and beauty routine. 'I used to use spray tan but it stinks so now I use sun beds. I know people say they're dangerous and can give you skin cancer but I don't smoke, I hardly drink and we've all got to die of something, so that's just my choice,' she says without irony.
She is also a fan of facials, Botox and hair extensions. Surprisingly, her secret weapon is Vaseline, 'it gives a nice a shine on your lips, you can put it on your eye lashes and it helps them glow.' Eyelashes that glow, how er, gorgeous.
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Uh oh, what's she done now Peter? Peter Andre poses looks pensive on holiday in Australia where he is visiting family while pining for his kids.
The pop idol's fraught relationship with ex-wife Katie Price continues to create headlines with stories of Katie's raucous New Years Eve party an ongoing cause for concern. Matters aren't helped by Katie's on-off boyfriend Alex Reid's stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Reid is under strict orders not to blab about Katie and Peter but the cagefighter has risked upset by telling housemates he got along well with Peter - even though they have never met. Oh dear, and on it goes...
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Kate Moss has caused a stink by opening her mouth again - this time to say that she thinks Jordan must smell.
In a rare interview with Company magazine, she said: : "Don't wear too much so that it leaves a trail behind you. Have you seen Katie Price's programme? She wears too much.
"I've never actually smelt it, but she sprays herself for about ten minutes. I'm like, oh my God, what is she doing? I don't think that's a good look. It should be subtle enough that you can smell it, but not so that it's overdone."
We give it thirty seconds before Jordan retaliates with a Gillian Taylforth-related insult in the News of the World.
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In between the latest ridiculous tabloid headline and point scoring with ex husband Peter Andre, Katie Price found the time to attend another London International Horse Show wearing, of course, her own range of equestrian gear.
Katie being Katie, she can't resist pulling her standard page three pout face when holding up a brochure for her clothing range (yep, that's right, she's even trying to make a brochure for horse clothing sexy).
That said, maybe she's using everything she's got to try and flog her wares - according to the Mirror, Katie's also been selling some of her more erm tasteful outfits on e bay, including the outfit she wore for her first date with Peter. No word on weather she paid for everything to be dry-cleaned before selling it though.
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Peter Andre had admitted that he didn't want his marriage to end and was 'forced' to divorce Katie Price.
Looking back on 2009 in New! Magazine, he said: I was forced to end something that I didn't want to end and that makes me sad," he said.
"Career-wise 2009 has been the best year of my life, but personally, it has been the worst. There's no doubt about it. So, yeah, there is a sense of sadness, of course there is. A family unit is broken and that's not good. But I feel strong and I have lots of support."
With Katie Price apparently back with Alex Reid again, who knows what 2010 holds for Peter?
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Katie Price has now resorted to flogging her clothes on ebay to earn a spot of extra cash. Of course, while she's waiting for the penny to come flooding into her PayPal account, she's got to do something else - hence yet another book signing.
She's looking slightly more demure than when she's on a night on the tiles (well, she is a published author after all), Katie still can't resist pulling her standard page 3 pose (boobs out, full-on pout and cocked leg).
In fact, we rarely see Katie in any other pose, maybe she needs to vary her look a bit if she wants to flog a few more books...
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Katie Price has put herself even higher up on the nation's hate list by hijacking ex-husband Peter Andre's Christmas treat for their children.
Peter organized a two-hour treat for the kids to see Santa at Harrods, but according to the News of the World once Katie got wind of the trip, she whisked the children straight down to Harrods herself and demanded the same experience herself.
A source told the paper: "in walked Jordan with the kids demanding the same thing we were going to do for Peter. She didn't have time for the full experience, so we shortened it to about 40 minutes.
"The kids had a blast but everyone was really upset because it was so obvious the reason she brought the kids to Harrods was to get back at Peter again. He was shattered he then had to cancel his plans."
Dear oh dear Katie - if you want to win Peter back, that's certainly not the way to do it...
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Things have taken an even more unlikely turn in Jordan land, with The Mirror reporting that she's back together with Alex Reid, because she's worried he'll spill all her secrets to the world (all the secrets she hasn't already sold to the News of the World in a series of exclusives, of course).
The paper reports that although Jordan made Alex sign a confidentiality agreement at the start of their relationship, he signed it as his alter-ego Roxy. "She thought she was safe making him sign the agreement, but it seems the signature was never checked," says someone that we're going to humour for the sake of this story.
"It was very cheeky of Alex indeed, but pretty clever. There is one thing almost as important to Katie as her kids and that's money. She hates the thought of people making money out of her and was not about to hand it to Alex on a plate."
Even the Mirror don't really rate this particular story, but lets face it, this wouldn't be the stupidest thing Miss Price has done...
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You know things are bad when Lily Allen has to tell you to calm down - as Katie Price discovered recently.
The I'm A Celebrity star attended the Morgan Awards in London last week. Despite abandoning her usual posse (well, Michelle Heaton) for the likes of Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell and Sarah brown, she decided it would be a good idea to hit the bottle and start rolling around like a sailor.
According to the News of the World, Lily Allen decided to step in when Miss Price started flashing her pants at the assembled crowds, telling her: "For God's sake, think of your children. You're going to regret this in the morning."
A source told the paper: "Jordan was behaving like some sort of X-rated actress, lying on the ground and arching her back up into the air.
"It's not the way to act at a do where the Prime Minister's wife is one of the guests. At the time Piers and Simon were having their picture taken and the way she was acting was hugely embarrassing."
Urgh, if this is what divorce does to her, imagine what she'll do when she hits 40...
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Katie Price has her eye on another victim/man - former X Factor contestant Jamie Archer.
According to the Metro, the pair met in Mahiki (where else?), with an onlooker saying: "They were chatting away and getting on swimmingly. It looked as though they were swapping numbers."
Jamie then decided to milk his 15 minutes of fame to the full, by requesting Kings of Leon's 'Sex on Fire,' which is fast becoming his theme tune, and singing along to Katie. "He grabbed the microphone in the DJ booth and was belting out 'You, your sex is on fire' as Katie and her mates cheered him on. He put on a real show for her."
We quite liked Mr A until we read this story. Now we feel a little unwell...
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