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No, no, no. She is, however, stepping out in red shorts.
Amy Winehouse looked rather solemn as she left her house yesterday - although she did at least look quite scrubbed-up, in those red shorts, her black and white bag and a seemingly new scarf in her hair.
She also looked rather determined - possibly 'determined not to go to rehab'. Because it turns out that stories that she was heading off to get help for her, erm, 'issues' were unfounded. "Unfortunately the residents of Bury won't be enjoying Amy's company," her publicist told reporters. Sadly.
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Oh yes, believe me: this was a transformation. Because here's what Amy Winehouse looked like on day one of the V Festival.
But Amy put her make-up on properly, donned a dress and had a shower - by the looks of things - before performing at Sunday's V Festival in Essex. Why, she even put red roses in her hair!
The reviews of her weekend performances haven't been altogether favourable, however. The Daily Mirror called her set at Weston Park on Saturday "terrible... self-indulgent" - but admitted that she fared better in Essex yesterday, when she "made an OK stab at the latest gig by only forgetting the words to Valerie". See, that's progress for ya!
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And here she was, sort of performing.
Amy Winehouse played the opening night of the V Festival last night - although her band took to the stage 20 minutes late, and according to the NME "paused and just stood there in limbo doing nothing for several long minutes" before Amy appeared.
The delay was apparently due to Amy's helicopter being held-up - don't you just hate it when that happens? - but all was forgiven when she actually started to perform in her geometric top and rolled-up, cropped jeans.
The picture agency says that she "hardly knew any words to her songs and seemed to have no idea what she was supposed to do" - but the NME claims Amy "soon restored the positive spirits" and "earned loud cheers" from the crowd. Mind you, she did tell them they looked "gorgeous in waterproofs"...
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Uh-oh.
Here was Amy Winehouse last night - and as you can see, she's back to black. Her black string vest, to be precise.
Amy had another wild night out on the town (copyright: all tabloids) - and that included stepping out in her vest and cropped jeans, looking rather scared, going to Dingwalls, and throwing a cup at a photographer.
So, yes, as I say: back to her old ways. Bring back the old old Amy!
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No, not the 'Deer der der der deeer der der der' one. The theme song for the new Bond movie.
Amy Winehouse was, as you may recall, in the running to be recording the titular track for the new James Bond film Quantum of Solace - but that honour has now gone to Alicia Keys and Jack White. And Amy's not happy one bit.
"I want prove that they have made a big mistake," Amy told New magazine. "I do think they could have waited a bit... I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring. When I do release mine - and I am tempted to do it on the same day - this would be the bigger hit. If they change their minds, I'm waiting!"
Erm, well I wouldn't wait too long, Amy. But still, I do think she has a point. Because with her style, and her beehive, she's surely more in the classic Bond, Shirley Bassey-esque tradition than clean-cut Alicia, eh?
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Now, I realise you'll have to take my word for it that this is, indeed, Amy Winehouse. But then, the pale satin ballet pumps are a dead giveaway, aren't they?
As is the headscarf - albeit a slightly different one, worn in a slightly different way from how we're used to seeing Amy wear a headscarf.
But maybe this difference - coupled with the fact that she was also a) entering a recording studio and b) hiding from the cameras - means that a new Amy is emerging. Namely: one who's making music, as opposed to headlines.
Let's hope so, eh?
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Is it just me, or are fans getting younger these days? No, wait - that's policemen, isn't it?
Here was a young fan arriving at Amy Winehouse's north London pad yesterday - carrying, as you can see, a bunch of sunflowers big enough to guarantee a smile on any recovering addict's face.
As you can also see, fans are not only getting younger, but increasingly trendy, too. Mop top hair, flip-flops.. Hang on: maybe he's not that young after all, but just a midget?
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Yikes! How did this happen?
Yes, Amy Winehouse appears to have gone from 1950s Retro Woman to 1980s Goth - possibly via Joan Jett/Heart. The even more enormous hair! The grey skinnies! The monotones!
This was Amy was out on the town on Friday night - or rather: Saturday morning. Because according to the picture agency, she didn't leave the house until 4am - Jack Daniels bottle, Vodka bottle and asthma inhaler in hand - and visited two house parties, before returning home at 7am.
How does she do it? Actually: probably best not to answer that.
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In fact, it's so surprisingly lifelike that it makes Amy Winehouse's mum and dad look like waxworks themselves.
Yes, Madame Tussaud's has excelled itself - by producing its actual first really good waxwork in as long as I can remember.
The model of Amy was unveiled yesterday in London - and although the lady herself was absent (apparently she was at home asleep. Well, she is a musician, you know), her mum Janis and her dad Mitch did the honours and said they were "stunned" by the likeness of the tattooed waxwork, which was dressed, as you can see, in a yellow mini dress and black stilettos.
It apparently took 20 sculptors and artists four and a half months to complete Amy's model. They used oil-based paints, real, ethically-sourced human hair, and apparently made the entire thing out of one melted down arm taken from the model of Justin Hawkins of The Darkness*.
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*not really
That's right - Blake Fielder-Civil has, as they say in EastEnders/The Bill/Guy Ritchie films, gone daaaaaahn.
Amy Winehouse's husband was sentenced at Snaresbrook Crown Court yesterday, after being found guilty of beating up a pub landlord and perverting the course of justice. And far from being released, as Amy had hoped, he was sentenced to 27 months in jail. Ah, if only Judge Judy had been the one presiding over the case...
The other scandal of the day, however - apart from Blake's term - was the absence of Amy in court, and the presence, instead, of this young lady in her stripey dress on the left here. Who is German model Sophie Schandorff, 21 - yes, she who apparently mouthed "I love you" to Blake in court some months ago - and who was obviously slightly distraught after the hearing. Aww.
But don't worry Sophie. Or, indeed, Amy. I'm sure Blake will be out before you know it. I watched Prisoner Cell Block H back in the '80s - I know how these things go.
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