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'Note to self: must clean off vomit before returning designer clothes'.
Yes, Amy Winehouse has found herself in the (expensive) dog house, after receiving a £25,000 bill for the designer frocks loaned to her ahead of London Fashion Week.
"Harvey Nichols loaned Amy £25k's worth of silk and satin dresses," an insider tells the Daily Mirror. "Unfortunately, while wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender. She ended up in the loos, where she was violently sick. Let's just say it wasn't pretty."
Eww!
"She eventually couriered them back on Monday, but didn't wrap them separately. So sick had gone on all the clothes. Even worse, green, furry mould had developed on some gowns, making them unwearable," continues the source. "The store publicists weren't best pleased... I doubt Amy will be sent any more designer gear for a while and the store has now asked for its £25k back."
Eek. Just as well you've got quite a bit of money, eh, Amy?
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See? Now they've really made it!
Amy Winehouse and Victoria Beckham have been immortalised in Lego. Along with Madonna, the X Factor judges, David Beckham, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's twins, and, erm, Alan Titchmarsh.
The plastic figures basically look like their real-life models only pulled so that they're all much fatter and, erm, sort of square shaped. Amy's is 'wearing' a white top and blue shorts and, yes, even sports tattoos.
Unfortunately, the Lego figures won't be on sale to the general public - having been created just to celebrate the company's 30th birthday. Shame. I'm sure you could spend hours play-fighting with Victoria Beckham and Alan Titchmarsh...
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She's back! Erm, sort of.
Sadly, it looks like the old Amy Winehouse is back.
Here she was leaving a gig at The Monarch in Camden last night - and put it this way. She's looked better. Bless her.
The madder-than-ever hair; the fag in her mouth; the Rod Stewart trousers... Dear oh lawd. It's truly quite frightening. I know we keep saying this, but: can someone give this girl some serious help? Pleeease? I mean, she's possibly more talented than Rod Stewart, and everything.
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After feeling the whole singing thing wasn't working out for her, Amy Winehouse decided to turn to boats. "Everyboard! Starboard. Now!" she yelled. And they replied: "No! No! No!" And Amy decided to hang up her captain's hat, replace it with a bow, and return to what she was good at - performing at the Best Presents Bestival in the Isle of Wight. She couldn't quite bring herself to give up the ship's wheel though.
Ur, yeah, so anyway. Amy made it to the festival Lily Allen said she couldn't face and put on a stonking performance. She ignored all fashion rules, bearing cleavage and legs, and still looked her fabulous self. We're sure dad Mitch would be willing to provide some style comments (for a small fee) but we'd rather not hear them, thanks. Give a black cabbie an audience and he won't shut up eh?
The 'Rehab' star ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's whiskey. Guess she's big into irony.
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No, no, no. She is, however, stepping out in red shorts.
Amy Winehouse looked rather solemn as she left her house yesterday - although she did at least look quite scrubbed-up, in those red shorts, her black and white bag and a seemingly new scarf in her hair.
She also looked rather determined - possibly 'determined not to go to rehab'. Because it turns out that stories that she was heading off to get help for her, erm, 'issues' were unfounded. "Unfortunately the residents of Bury won't be enjoying Amy's company," her publicist told reporters. Sadly.
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Oh yes, believe me: this was a transformation. Because here's what Amy Winehouse looked like on day one of the V Festival.
But Amy put her make-up on properly, donned a dress and had a shower - by the looks of things - before performing at Sunday's V Festival in Essex. Why, she even put red roses in her hair!
The reviews of her weekend performances haven't been altogether favourable, however. The Daily Mirror called her set at Weston Park on Saturday "terrible... self-indulgent" - but admitted that she fared better in Essex yesterday, when she "made an OK stab at the latest gig by only forgetting the words to Valerie". See, that's progress for ya!
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And here she was, sort of performing.
Amy Winehouse played the opening night of the V Festival last night - although her band took to the stage 20 minutes late, and according to the NME "paused and just stood there in limbo doing nothing for several long minutes" before Amy appeared.
The delay was apparently due to Amy's helicopter being held-up - don't you just hate it when that happens? - but all was forgiven when she actually started to perform in her geometric top and rolled-up, cropped jeans.
The picture agency says that she "hardly knew any words to her songs and seemed to have no idea what she was supposed to do" - but the NME claims Amy "soon restored the positive spirits" and "earned loud cheers" from the crowd. Mind you, she did tell them they looked "gorgeous in waterproofs"...
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Uh-oh.
Here was Amy Winehouse last night - and as you can see, she's back to black. Her black string vest, to be precise.
Amy had another wild night out on the town (copyright: all tabloids) - and that included stepping out in her vest and cropped jeans, looking rather scared, going to Dingwalls, and throwing a cup at a photographer.
So, yes, as I say: back to her old ways. Bring back the old old Amy!
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No, not the 'Deer der der der deeer der der der' one. The theme song for the new Bond movie.
Amy Winehouse was, as you may recall, in the running to be recording the titular track for the new James Bond film Quantum of Solace - but that honour has now gone to Alicia Keys and Jack White. And Amy's not happy one bit.
"I want prove that they have made a big mistake," Amy told New magazine. "I do think they could have waited a bit... I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring. When I do release mine - and I am tempted to do it on the same day - this would be the bigger hit. If they change their minds, I'm waiting!"
Erm, well I wouldn't wait too long, Amy. But still, I do think she has a point. Because with her style, and her beehive, she's surely more in the classic Bond, Shirley Bassey-esque tradition than clean-cut Alicia, eh?
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Now, I realise you'll have to take my word for it that this is, indeed, Amy Winehouse. But then, the pale satin ballet pumps are a dead giveaway, aren't they?
As is the headscarf - albeit a slightly different one, worn in a slightly different way from how we're used to seeing Amy wear a headscarf.
But maybe this difference - coupled with the fact that she was also a) entering a recording studio and b) hiding from the cameras - means that a new Amy is emerging. Namely: one who's making music, as opposed to headlines.
Let's hope so, eh?
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