Coleen McLoughlin at Ladies' Day, Aintree: Believe it or not, this was one of the better dresses

Now, I realise you're going to have to take my word for that. But trust me: it was.

I won't post the pictures of the other women here because you're probably still having your breakfast. Or you read the Daily Mail, and will see them anyway. Or quite possibly both.

But take my word for it: the dresses they wore to Ladies' Day at the Grand National were HOR. REN. DOUS. I think I was both squinting and had my jaw on the floor as I looked at the pictures. Which is quite the physical feat, I can tell you.

Anyway, the upshot is that Coleen, in her floral Balenciaga dress, diamond jewellery and blue peep-toe Christian Louboutins, actually looked rather muted by comparison. And that's surely the first time someone's looked muted in a floral Balenciaga dress, diamond jewellery and blue peep-toe Christian Louboutins.

"I wasn't going to wear this," Coleen told reporters. "But with the weather, I thought I would go a bit short. I went with all my mates and my mum and everyone at Aintree looks great. Everyone has made such an effort from the top to the toe."

Erm. Well, that's not quite how I would have put it. But as they say: horses for courses, eh?

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