Britney Spears teaches kids to dance. Heartwarming? Yes. Worrying? A bit.

God help the youth of America.

More specifically the 15 five-year-olds who wanted to learn to dance and happen to find themselves under the tutelage of Louisiana's most famous export.

Nope, I'm not talking about fried chicken. Just weeks after checking herself out of hospital, Britney Spears has apparently decided to become a genuine children's dance instructor at the Millenium Dance Complex in Hollywood. Ahem.

A few ethical conundrums arise at this point; firstly, is it right to spread the ways of winding, grinding and saying 'y'all' a lot?

Secondly, the passing down of fashion tips of any kind should be expressly forbidden. Their impressionable minds (yours too, Britters) should be steered away from lumpy berets worn at a jaunty angle, market stall sunnies, diamante OF ANY DESCRIPTION, and inexplicably tatty t-shirts. Ow, my eyes!

Brit, you're a talented laydee. Ditch the Caramel Macchiatos and the stylist and get on the blower to Heatherette pronto for some of those awesome teeny-trashy dresses from days of old!

Hands up who wants a kick-ass comeback? AND a JT reunion please.

Y'know, if it's not too much trouble. Ta.

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