This is as casual as Victoria Beckham gets

OK, so it's just a casual top and a pair of jeans. But what was it about Posh's outfit yesterday (worn to her sons' football - sorry, soccer - practice) which made it look so, erm, un-casual? Fortunately, I can explain through a detailed, step-by-step analysis of how Victoria created this look. Don't try it at home (unless that 'home' is the Big Brother house, and your name is Chanelle):

1. Put on a carefully chosen 'casual' top. Make sure this falls off one shoulder in a deliberately engineered 'sexy' way, not in a Cameron-Diaz-just-leaving-the-gym way - and falls beautifully over your unfeasibly pert, bra-free bosoms.

2. Pull on the tightest pair of jeans you have to hand. Remember: blood circulation is a bad look!

3. Put on a pair of high heels (warning: may later get stuck in turf).

4. Make sure your hair is perfectly coiffed and your face is perfectly made-up. Cover up most of your perfectly made-up face with sunglasses.

5. Call the paparazzi to tell them where you're going to be. Leave the house.

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